it's a small world

it's funny how God can surprise you time and again. we happened to be cooking dinner and struck up a conversation with another gentleman who was also preparing his meal in the common kitchen. his name is james and he's studying medical and hygiene studies in london until this september.

the cool thing is he comes from malawi. not only that, but his hometown is zomba, the town we were based in while we were there. in fact, he even knows the joneses and emmanuel international and lives close by. we talked about nsima and chambo and all the great stuff about malawi. it was a great time, just cooking and sharing. and it was a surprise blessing from God on an otherwise rainy day (only the second one since we've been here!).

we're in the college for another two weeks or so and will hopefully see james around again before we leave. we're not sure where God wants this to go, or what our role in it will be, but we're sure it'll be good.

we're still wide-eyed at the new sights and sounds of a different place, seemingly a great distance away from home. but the lesson for today is that when you're walking with a big God, this world of ours gets smaller and smaller.

impossible is nothing

our criteria for an ideal flat:
1) safe (enough so that teresa can walk home in the evening without being afraid)
2) inexpensive (or at least within the budget we had set)
3) central
4) close to transport links (tube mainly, but buses and trains too)
5) nice (aesthetically)
6) close to grocery store

ask any londoner whether such a place exists and they will tell you surely not. they will tell you that it simply isn't possible. well today, we may have found such a place.

it was a very short walk ('a stone's throw away') from where we are currently staying. it's not 100% safe, but then again, no place in london really is. but we'd give it a solid 90% rating. there's also a police station not too far down the street. it is a 5 minute walk to king's cross tube station, which is the hub for almost every line on the underground, the overland trains, and numerous bus routes. there's a tesco metro (one of the less expensive grocery stores) within a 5 minute walk as well.

there are two rooms available in the flat. one is a double bedroom and is quite large and spacious. the other is a single bedroom, but it's still large enough to fit a double bed, some dressers and a wardrobe. the larger room was very nice, but it ended up being more expensive than the budget we had set. but the individual showing us the flat was open to us taking the smaller room too, which was within budget.

now, it wasn't super nice. in fact, it wasn't even finished. the space used to be an office, which was then converted to a living space and inhabited by several students. the current tenant is in the process of overhauling the entire place. there is a fresh coat of paint on the walls and there are plans to re-carpet certain areas. it doesn't have a sofa in the lounge yet, but it's also in the plans (a sofa-bed, actually).

it's interesting the many ways God is helping us grow through this adventure. the place we saw today is yet another lesson. all of the other places we have visited have been finished and furnished. we could move in tomorrow and not have to change a thing. the place today wasn't finished yet. but even though there were buckets of paint and plaster lying around, dirty carpet that was going to be torn out and other half-finished parts of the flat, we could see the potential of the place to become a home.

it led us to an interesting analogy. we've been learning through a sermon series on marriage that marriage is all about the finishing process. no one's perfect, but the idea is that we can see the potential in each other and will work with God to create a finished person. in the same way, God sees the potential in us and works patiently to finish us, patching up certain areas and cleaning others.

the current tenant said that it was a miracle - literally - that he had found it in the first place. his church had asked him where he was going to stay and he had told them the king's cross area. and so that was the only place he had looked and he happened upon this flat. he knew it was a provision from God.

our initial thoughts are the same. it seems too good to be true. so good, in fact, that it could only possibly have come from God. our test now is to wait on Him so that we know this is what He wants and not our own selfish desires.

but one thing is for sure: although things may seem impossible for man - and our criteria was
pretty impossible - all things are possible with God.

stoke newington

today, we went to see another flat up in an area called stoke newington. it's one tube stop further than finsbury park, but seemed less rough. the area has two reservoirs, which make it quite scenic, as if you were in the countryside.

it was still a mini-trek to the flat, approximately twenty minutes walking at a mildly brisk pace. the flat itself is in the basement of a house. the house has a garden in the front, enclosed by a short iron fence with a gate to enter. it has a rustic quality to it that makes it seem quite cozy, kind of like being in a small cottage. the kitchen was small, but cutely decorated with Christmas lights. the bathroom was even smaller, with only a shower stall, some room to turn and the toilet.

the place was attractive mainly due to the insanely low price - normally it'd be difficult to find a room for one person for that cost, let alone a couple. however, the distance from the tube station is a fairly big downside (we can only imagine the difficulty in getting all of our stuff there). there also was no grocery store close by. lastly, there was no common lounge area, so it'd be difficult to have visitors over.

it was nice to see so many different areas, though. over the past couple of days, we've been all over the greater london area. we've met with a bunch of different people, and gotten a little glimpse of how they live. each experience has been unique and has given us a better appreciation of life in london. we've been blessed to have found so many different places that are willing to accept a couple (it's harder than you would think), and to have choices is a wonderful thing. we now have some decisions to make, whether we want to choose one of the places we've visited or to keep looking for more options. we're continuing to look to God to lead the way and trust that He'll give us a place to stay.

good flat hunting

we started the day off bright (literally because we had another beautiful day of sunshine and warmth!) and early. we headed down to south wimbledon tube station (in zone 3) to view a flat share. the tube ride was about 40 minutes, which wasn't bad at all. this flat share is in zone 3, which means it costs more to take the tube into the city centre. the first thing we noticed as we walked out of the tube station was there were escalators, which means we wouldn't have to do shuttle runs with our luggage if we were to move here.

the flat share was about a 2 minute walk from the station. bonus! it was in a townhouse complex, and had its own garage (which, apparently, we could use as storage space). another bonus!

the person we met with seemed very nice. he's not the landlord, but had lived in this place for the last couple of years. he showed us around the flat. the flat had a spacious kitchen and lounge area (living room), which was nice. the room we would be renting is big enough for us to live in. at least there's a double bed (instead of the single bed we've been sleeping on), and there's plenty of storage space. the only thing is, there is no closet in the actual bedroom we'd be renting.

we enquired about the nearest grocery store, and he pointed out that it's only a 5 minute walk to both sainsbury and m&s. so after we finished viewing the flat, we decided to head over to the stores and see just how long it would take us. and whadaya know? it did only take us 5 minutes to walk there, and the sainsbury and m&s were both huge!

our next destination was to visit a house share by canada water tube station (zone 2). we got out of the tube station, and we were immediately greeted with a "welcome to the suburbs!" sign. well, not really an actual sign per se. we were greeted with a fairly big shopping centre (mall), a lot of condo construction sites, and rows and rows and rows of homes.

we walked through a very nice and posh neighbourhood to get to the house we were to view. that neighbourhood had the vibe of forest hill, and everyone either drove an audi, bmw, vw or some other german or french brand vehicle. if we had our 95 vw golf with us, then we'd fit right in, right? yeah, not quite.

after walking for about 20 mintues, we still arrive early at the house. so we hang out by the pond that's right beside the house. what do we see? of course, another cat! this one is all white, and oh so cute! we wanted to cuddle it, but we didn't see a collar, so we decided to take some pictures instead!

just as we were about to get closer to the cat, the door of the house we were to view opens. out comes a chinese lady about the age of our aunts. that was our instant relational reaction.

she gave us a quick tour of the house. we must admit, the bedroom (which had a huge closet!) and washroom were a bit nicer than the flat in south wimbledon. there was a backyard out back where there was a nice garden. the house only had one bathroom, and the lounge area is a bit stuffy, in the sense that it had a really stereotypical chinese décor. we sat in the lounge and chatted for about an hour. through our conversation, we were able to see that she genuinely had a heart for God and His people. it was quite refreshing!

we had to excuse ourselves from this visit (we felt we could have chatted on forever), as we had one more viewing to go to before we could call it a day. it was, unfortunately, on the other side of the city. by this time, we were both so tired from walking so much, we were really dreading this last visit, or at least t was.

we got off at the putney bridge tube station (also zone 2), and we had another 20 minute walk from the station to the flat share ahead of us. yay. granted, we did finally get to see the river thames, as the walk took us across putney bridget to the southwest side of london.

we finally arrive, and we are greeted by a south african lady. she's tall and beautiful, to say the least. she showed us 2 bedrooms, both lovely. we were a bit confused, but she clarified that both bedrooms come with the rent. we were quite surprised at that, and wondered why. we quickly realized that the published rent cost was per person. thus, instantly doubling what we thought was the rent cost. ouch.

as great as the flat was (having 2 bedroom means 2 closets! not that we have that much clothes here with us, but you know, it's nice to have options), and as wonderful as the engaged couple we would live with were (the lady is running a jewelry business based out of south africa, where the local ladies hand make the jewelry, and the profits are shared), we couldn't afford the place. and truth be told, even if we could, we wouldn't necessarily take it because of its inconvenient location, and lack of a grocery store that's within walking distance.

we left feeling rather exhausted knowing that we had a 20 minute walk back to the tube station. in retrospect, maybe the 20 minute walk to this place from the tube station wouldn't have been that bad if we had did it first thing in the morning, rather than at the end of the day. who knows, but this was how the events turned out, so we trust it was meant to happen this way.

ignorance is bliss

it's funny how little we knew about london before moving here. it would be reasonable to assume that we would do all the touristy things when we first got here. of course, in order to do that, we'd have to know what the tourist attractions are in the first place.

today, we briefly walked around oxford circus area. this would seem a perfectly normal thing to do, but the only reason we decided to do this was because we were asked: "you've been to oxford circus, right?" it was almost assumed that we had.

it was a very nice area, with lots of shops. and lots of people. we went on a tuesday afternoon, but it was still very busy with lots of pedestrian traffic. we finally saw an h&m and a topshop. the uk h&m prices are numerically less than those of canada, but when you convert it back to canadian dollars, it's actually more expensive. take, for example, a sundress - we've seen them in canada h&m for about $16, whereas in uk h&m, it costs £12.50. numerically, it's less, but in actuality, when you convert the uk h&m price back to canadian dollars, the sundress would cost about $23. this converting back to canadian dollars is inevitable until we start making the £ (that is, if we'll ever actually stop converting it back to the canadian dollar).

we went into marks & spencer, since we hadn't been to one yet. we were curious to see what it was like, since our only impressions were formed by the super old ones at fairview mall and scarborough town centre in the days of our childhood. it's definitely nicer now.

galen weston is apparently trying to model loblaws after the grocery stores in the uk. m+s is particularly scary. everything they sell - and we mean EVERYTHING - is store branded. and they sell an insane amount of things. they have store-branded sauces that would put pc's memories line to shame. we found about four or five different types of indian-inspired curry sauces alone. they even sell m+s branded beer, wine and liquor. and we're not talking a few bottles here and there, but an entire section. this doesn't even consider their many clothing lines, greeting cards and cakes, not to mention their finance division (m+s money). the other amazing thing is the ridiculously consistent design that's used throughout. despite everything being store brand, we've been told that m+s ranks among the more upscale grocery stores. we resisted the urge to buy everything (it all looked very good) and settled on a pack of tea biscuits (reduced fat!).

so we ended up strolling around oxford circus munching on tea biscuits from m+s. does it get any more british than that? save and except, we didn't have a spot of tea in our hands, with our pinkies up.

necessary roughness

today, we went to see the first of a number of leads on flats. it was definitely an enlightening experience.

prior to coming here, we had received excellent, detailed descriptions of the different areas of london. it included commentary on relative costs, the types of residents that live there, activities, and recommendations on where to go, if possible, and which areas to stay away from. we were advised to stay away because certain areas of london can be quite 'rough.' we put it in quotation marks not because it's not true, but because, before coming here, it was difficult for us to assess what is meant by 'rough.'

as an added complication, we have been amazingly blessed with our current accomodations. the location is great because it's central and we can walk to a lot of places and thus save on the cost of taking transit everywhere. (as a side note, we've been walking around for six straight days now, and our legs are starting to feel it. it's one thing to know that people elsewhere in the world walk a lot more than north americans and quite another to actually experience it first-hand.) the downside to where we live right now - if there can even be a downside - is that it gives us a very skewed picture of what london is like. like we said, it's very central, and so there's always a lot going on and it's fairly safe. (we're quite glad it's safe because, otherwise, our first night would have been quite scary indeed, trudging along at a slow pace with all our luggage)

that's not necessarily reflective of how all of london is. another friend mentioned that rough areas can't be avoided in london, and it's quite hit or miss. you can go out on a street and look in one direction and it'll look very pleasant. but you turn your head the other way and it looks 'dodgy,' as they say here.

but again, that begs the question: how rough is 'rough'? are we going to be walking in mortal fear for our lives? or is it just a little more rustic than a typical upper middle class neighbourhood in a toronto suburb? i mean, some might say the area around downsview park is a little 'rough', but it's not really on the same level as, say, flemingdon park, or regent park (in the old days).

but back to london. we went to a place in the north part of the greater london area, by finsbury park tube station. we managed to walk out of the wrong exit at the station and in the wrong direction. we were actually half-looking for the lidl - a discount grocery store in the area, but realized after a while that we had taken a wrong turn somewhere and corrected our course.

we finally ended up at the flat we were going to view, which was located in a council flat - the british term for government-subsidized housing blocks. the flat was on the top floor of one of the blocks, and the stairwell smelled strongly of burning incense. the current resident was a very nice girl, albeit a bit different from what we're used to. (she was a self-professed 'lady of leisure' and if you're not familiar with the term, it can be quite alarming at first, especially if you saw how she was dressed)

and i guess that's the point. from the second we stepped out of the station until we got back on the train, both of us were a little on edge. it was different from what we were used to, which is a good thing. God loves to challenge us to get uncomfortable. if we feel safe all the time, we have no need for Him. of course we want to find a flat in a place that's a) safe, b) central, c) nice (as in clean, modern, etc.), and d) inexpensive. tell any londoner that list of criteria and they'll tell you instantly that it's not possible. our challenge is to stay open to where God wants us to be.

in all fairness, when people say areas in london are 'rough', they actually are quite rough. the council flat we were in had the same vibe as regent, alexandra park or warden woods in toronto. but who knows, God may challenge us to live in one of the 'rougher' areas of london. maybe He doesn't want us to avoid these areas, but embrace them. it's definitely not the london tourists want to see, but it's london all the same. and we've grown from the experience of just walking around the area today.

happy days

we'd like to proudly point out that out of the three days we have been here, two of them have been bright and sunny. that's 67%! of course, we were told today not to get used to it. but it's just another way God has been blessing us through this experience.

here are a couple of pictures of the view from our room:
we also went to church today. it was fairly close, so we walked there. the people were very friendly and there were lots of cute kids! apparently, they're looking for a drummer to help out on a worship team, but we're not in a hurry to jump in just yet.

the message today was on hebrews 11, a familiar passage that seems to keep popping up recently.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Hebrews 11:1

we were encouraged to not focus on today, but to let our thoughts be dominated by the future promise, which is to be reunited with God and see Him face to face.

it was also a good reminder to think about what it is that we are hoping for. we've been concerned about our job situation and realized that part of our hopes are to find a job as quickly as possible. this isn't a bad hope to have, but someone pointed out today that we seem to have become inextricably linked to our jobs, that it dominates who we are and is almost an idol of sorts. the observation was in relation to the economic state of london and the how people are handling being laid off. to some, it can be devastating, not just economically speaking, but as a blow to their very identities.

this realization of how much value we place in our jobs made us want to keep ourselves centred on God and set our hopes on Him. we don't want to hope so much for a job, but that we would be more aware of how He is working around and through us and to know Him more - like really know Him.

on a slow boat to china...town

today we wandered around the area where we're staying. our main objective was to get ourselves some SIM cards so we could rejoin modern society after being "cellular"-less for a whopping 2 days.

go figure. as fate would have it, we accidentally stumbled into london's chinatown district. we actually had no idea where it was, since we didn't really care to look it up before we left canada. but apparently, destiny had other designs. so at least now we know where it is and where to go if we start jonesing some bbq pork or roast duck or chinese buns or chinese broccoli (which, btw, is super expensive).

below are some interesting observations (oddities, really) from our experience:

1. in the chinese supermarket we went into, all the butchers were women

2. all the tours were led by flag-waving...caucasians

3. hk diners had no real hk café style food (no egg sandwiches to be found)

4. chinese people in london aren't really that loud, or at least none that we've encountered so far

however, some things are apparently common to chinatowns the world over. we're referring, of course, to the signature (sewage-esque) smell. ("what's that smell? we must be near...chinatown?")

we also found a 'new world' restaurant:

we suppose that if we had our wedding banquet in london, we might have had it at this new world...we wonder if the food is any good...

along the way, we also found an inexpensive place (again, relatively speaking) to eat some korean food! mmmm...bibimbab (for £3.45, which is about $6.50)...yum! maybe we'll try that place out one of these days!

london on a 1-star budget

before we came here, we were warned numerous times that london is one of the most expensive places in the world to live. essentially, the guideline we were given is that everything costs the same as it does in toronto, except it's in pounds, not dollars. for example, if milk costs $5 in toronto (for 4L), it'll cost £5 for the same in london. so we just prepared ourselves and tried to convince ourselves not to do the instinctive conversion calculations when buying stuff.

we were somewhat surprised to find that stuff is actually not as expensive as we would have thought. it's defo not cheap. but it is possible to get some decent stuff on a reasonable budget.

we visited a grocery store called waitrose in a plaza near where we're staying yesterday, just to check things out. we found a lot of things comparable in price to toronto - yes, even after we converted back to CAD. for example, shampoo (herbal essences for those who are keeping track) was £1.64, which works out to about $3. this was odd since waitrose seemed to be a more upscale type of supermarket. now, this wasn't true for everything. toothpaste was about £1.13, which works out to $2 and is on the pricey side for toothpaste.

(this was also somewhat to our dismay because we realized that we didn't necessarily have to bring some stuff with us in an attempt to save money. this would have saved us some extra weight - see previous post)

groceries (such as vegetables) were a mixed bag, with some items more expensive and other items about the same. same goes for meat. we found chicken drumsticks to be the cheapest kind of meat, followed closely by ground beef (20% fat).

we moved onto a tesco express for more price research. for the most part, tesco was cheaper than waitrose for a number things. we bought a 2L bottle of coke for £1. granted, it was on sale, but that's still not that bad. they also have this sandwich meal deal where you get a pre-made sandwich from a selection of different varieties (e.g. ploughman's, tuna and corn, chicken and bacon, egg and cress), a bag of chips (crisps here), and a bottle of water for £2. that's a full lunch for under $4 - we don't remember seeing that anywhere in canada.

today we visited a sainsbury's in the area. here's a rundown of our shopping list (conversion to CAD is using an exchange rate of approximately $1.83:£1) :

+ loaf of bread =45p ($0.85)
+ a jar of jam = 38p ($0.70)
+ two 1L boxes of juice = £1.50 (~$2.75)
+ a pint of milk = 45p (mainly for tea for caspian, as there is no lactose-free milk for teresa)
+ 1kg of sugar = £1.05 ($1.92)
+ jar of pasta sauce = 99p ($1.85)
+ 720g chicken thighs & drumsticks (bone in, skin on) = £2 ($3.66)
+ mushrooms = 59p ($1.08)
+ 3 peppers (1 of each colour) = £1.58 ($2.89 - this was our splurge item)

our total bill was £8.99 (approx. $16.45). we later picked up some bananas and a pack of spaghetti at tesco. we're going to explore the kitchen facilities here tonight!

london, england

when we thought we were going on an adventure, we had no idea what kind of hijinks we would get into.

the plan seemed sound enough on paper: save money by taking the tube and walking to our destination, which wasn't too far from the station. but it's difficult to convey on paper what it's like to haul 250+ pounds of luggage through the streets of london, on foot, well past midnight.

we also had no idea that kings cross station is devoid of elevators. we ended up moving each piece of luggage up the stairs one at a time. it's like doing suicide drills, on stairs, with 50lbs of extra weight each time. it was hell at the time, but i suppose the consolation is that we saved money. and now we have a fun story to tell.

the good thing is we made it. alive (albeit a bit sore).

reykjavik, iceland

maybe it's because it's spring, but iceland isn't really all that much ice. lots of rocks, though. and really nice people.

reykjavik was one of the places i memorized as a kid when trying to learn the world capitals so i could beat my mom at jeapordy. so actually being in the city is really cool. a lot more geophysical intrigue than toronto, which is relatively quite flat. there are glacier-like peaks and plateaus in the near horizon and the sea in between. the terrain is fairly hilly - kind of like a much smaller, more rugged version of san francisco. reykjavik has a very quaint feel, with brightly-coloured houses and roofs. weirdly, though, it has public bathrooms that look like something out of doctor who.

we got dropped off at the bus terminal and walked into the city centre. wandered around a bit and ended up venturing into this cute little café with an organic, 'free tibet' kind of feel. (the place is called Hljómalind and there is, in fact, a 'free tibet' poster up on the wall here) we had a coffee and an interesting (in a good way) hot chocolate that was flavoured with a touch of cinnamon. i ate some (most) of the whipped cream to save teresa from a stomach ache later.

after, we left in search of a place for lunch. we ended up walkting through most of the downtown area and realized two things: 1) the food here is quite pricey, and 2) we weren't quite sure what counts as authentic icelandic dishes. we asked the lady at the tourist info centre who confirmed (1) by point us to restaurants even more expensive than the ones we had already come across and clarified (2), apparently fish and lamb. we left the tourist centre no better than we had entered.

we finally just got tired of walking around and were also running out of time, since we had to catch the bus back to the airport. so we settled on this place called prikiđ (the 'đ' is pronounced like 'th' in english). it turned out to be a highlight of our trip as it was just the kind of place we both love - low key, packed with locals, great décor (textured wallpaper; indy, home-made art hanging on the walls - actually b&w photo portraits of staff and patrons that were really well shot) and, to top it off, they were playing jazz on the sound system. it's one of those hidden gem type places that's not pretentious and oozes character. it wasn't expensive (relatively speaking) and had some clever menu items. cas had a lambsteik and teresa had a 'party burger,' a wonderful creation that included blue, camembert and parmesan cheese and also some strawberry jam. "it was delish," says teresa.

on our walk back to the bus terminal, we ran into two cats! they were both black and one had white paws, prompting teresa to name it boots. we were actually able to pet it and snap some pics. it was really cute. unfortunately, our feline encounters caused us to miss our bus. but we got a chance to take a nap and still made it to the airport with time to spare. onward to london!

icelandair

our plane was very nice. we suppose that's an indirect recommendation for icelandair, especially since our tickets were relatively inexpensive. caspian quite enjoyed the sanitized, scandinavian design style that was used throughout the experience. for example, the emergency procedures video was very well done, illustrated using faceless silhouettes and a very clean blue/grey palette. beside is a neat bit of copy we found on the seat.

the in-flight entertainment included a language-learning section where you could learn the basics for about twenty different languages. caspian availed himself of this to learn some rudimentary icelandic. unfortunately, it wasn't enough to help him when one of the security people at keflavik airport started to speak to him in full out icelandic. (for the record, "do you have anything in your pockets?" wasn't part of the tutorial.) but it does show how quickly he picks up languages sometimes, if he can fool a native (he got himself into the trouble by saying "good morning" to the guard in icelandic; one would naturally assume a chinese guy wouldn't know how to speak icelandic).

it was a nice touch, though, and infinitely more useful when traveling than watching quantum of solace. all in all a good flight (if our expressions below are any indication). however, the lady at the check-in counter was right. it did seem a lot longer than 4.5 hours.

the adventure begins

today we left toronto. not so much a 'goodbye' as an extended 'see ya later,' but a weird feeling all the same, knowing we're not going to see the same sights for a while. but, looking forward to getting familiar with some new places, it seems like it's a decent trade. only time will tell now.

here's a blurry pic us on the ramp to our plane (note the hsbc ad in the background). the next time we post, it'll be from london!

contentment

it's a sobering experience to pack for a substantial move, such as the one we're undertaking. it's interesting, because we get to go over everything we own or of which we are in possession. and as we do it, we realize how much stuff we have.

the other interesting thing is the constraint of luggage. we're only allowed two pieces of luggage each (excluding carry-on), and each piece can weigh a maximum of 50 lbs. it's an interesting exercise for us, since we both have tendencies to try to plan for every possible scenario. we're expecting london to be quite expensive (or so we've heard) and hope to be able to save on extra costs by bringing over as much as we can and avoid buying things there. this includes basic (and often heavy) things, such as soap/body wash, shampoo/conditioner, etc.

it's a tiring, troublesome process of packing, then re-packing, then re-packing yet again (only to find out we're still over the max luggage weight). but it's also a blessing in disguise, as we get to go through an inventory process and review what's really important, and what's not so important. it gives you an interesting perspective on necessities vs. luxuries. asking yourself "do i really need this?" is a very enlightening question indeed.

the other benefit is, as the title suggests, learning contentment. there's no possible way we'll have access everything in london the way we do in toronto. it forces us to come to terms with the fact that we'll have to get by with a lot less. but the flipside of that is that we're going to realize that it's possible, and that we don't need probably even half of the stuff we have in toronto to survive. or at least let's hope so...